Beginning of the season rankings
Dec 22, 2020 19:39:20 GMT 2
Miami Heat, Denver Nuggets, and 10 more like this
Post by Portland TrailBlazers on Dec 22, 2020 19:39:20 GMT 2
Once again we are back we pure #analysis on our pathetic teams and prospects, enjoy the season fellas!
ATLANTA HAWKS
The time is NOW for Atlanta who decides to go ALL in on a year where money works and he can have Dame, OG and John Collins on expiring deals. A loaded roster with plenty of options but fragile bigs Kevin Love, Clint Capela, Danilo Gallinari and potential fantasy super freak Zion Williamson will determine how far this team can go.
DENVER NUGGETS
Denver remains the poster boy of this league as it’s probably the (only) team that combines a fun, competitive squad with a healthy long term plan in place. What can go wrong you might ask, right? Well, COVID for starters, as the stupid virus destroyed his chances last year so prayers that everything goes according to the plan and he is the next champion this spring (cause of course things always go according to the plan and we have a happy end, right 🤡)
INDIANA PACERS
Third year in a row Indiana is after the trophy and this time he really has 0 chance as he knows that he can’t win without his magic pony, Trey Burke. This is another totally loaded roster but with very limited financial flexibility and many long term contracts already in place. Don’t get me wrong, Indiana will be here as a contender next year as well, the question is will he learn from his mistakes and go ALL IN trading for his pony?
MINNESOTA WOLVES
An out of the blue contender who decides to trade for Joel Embiid’s massive contract, signs Steph Curry (by accident) and inks Kyrie and Jimmy Butler to long term contracts that secure the nephews of their grandchildren..There is some statistical anomaly in the roster construction as Minnesota is dominant in four major categories but not on the rest and this is a 9-cat league and math doesn’t seem to work (wait, did Dio really just quote math?? 🤦🏻♂️)
NEW ORLEANS PELICANS
Pelicans seems to be the team that deserves the most to win this league for the simple reason that Billy has trade raped a good 70% percent of the managers (hello Derick Jones Jr. being the latest example). Good all-around acquisitions, some lucky breaks (Mason Plumlee) and even more first round picks in the vault. AD and the potential of “load management” could be the only bearer of bad news but hey, I bet New Orleans has another joker card to throw at us.
GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS
A catastrophic year, a new manager in place, James Wiseman landing to where he belongs (Bay area), a catastrophic injury to Klay-which quickly turned to Jrue Holiday- and a bunch of moves that follow the exact offseason strategy of the real Warriors. Wait, there is more, Kristaps “glass knees” Porzingis is the cornerstone of this squad but hey KD looked good, anyone confused? I know I am..
HOUSTON ROCKETS
New owner in town for Houston as well who inherits a STACKED team with a few Unicorns but I gotta say I’m disappointed, you are telling me that the best use of $35m in cap space is to trade for Kemba “I got no damn knees” and leave the rest $15m on the table? Still, this roster is more than solid and a playoff birth is almost guaranteed but please someone let the brother know that he needs to trade trade trade!
LOS ANGELES LAKERS
“I think I 've managed to turn things around after my first disastrous season and I have a young core waiting to pan out that may keep this team competitive(with a little help from the veterans”
That was a moment of pure #analysis by Lakers but hey, hold on, ARE YOU TRYING TO STEAL MY JOB HERE??
The Russ-Wall-Ja-Lonzo-Coby White lineup of point guards is one of the best I’ve seen around fantasy leagues so I’ll be rooting for this guy and yes there is room for improvement so anything is possible.
MILWAUKEE BUCKS
“I believe I am in the way of being competitive for years to come”
What is going on with you guys deciding to do a press conference assessing your team? Yes you are in the way of something buddy but that’s closer to being a pretender than a real contender. After back-back wins of the “how the hell did I screw up my squad” trophy by Philadelphia, Milwaukee is putting some serious consideration for grabbing that award in the third year of our league. Yes, the core of LeBron, Giannis and Siakam is tremendous but this league is about depth and I’m not really feeling the supporting cast...Wiggins (?), Gary Harris are PJ Washington are ok projects but who the hell told you that rookies help teams win fantasy leagues??
SAN ANTONIO SPURS
Spurs doing his best “NBA Spurs” impersonation, paying Kawhi and keeping him in San Antonio even though the dude wanted out. This is another team that looks good on theory but the paraplegic status of Blake Griffin combined with the potential Drummond shit show in Cleveland and the Kardashian curse (thanks TT) put any hope for success totally up in the air..hey, at least Thomas Bryant is here to clean the glass (oh wait his rebounds are totally going down with Westbrook in Washington, right?) Oh noooooooooo...
MIAMI HEAT
Miami is another team that I empathize with as last year’s COVID shit completely derailed them from competing for the trophy. Things are kinda different this year though with a strong nucleus of Luka and Ben Simmons in place, solid veterans Mike Conley and Jonas Valanciunas back but with many questions regarding the supporting cast. A lot of wheeling and dealing by Miami which will most likely continue in the next few months, so stay tuned for “The return of Luka”
PORTLAND JAILBLAZERS
The reigning champion of this league is getting mocked all over for his trades, RFA bids and acquisitions but the lessons are clearly not learned around here, “never underestimate the heart of the champion”! A roster that has aged and taken a step back this year but Portland is certainly not expected to remain inactive and a blockbuster is always on the works, just watch and learn what Trey Burke can get me after March..
BROOKLYN NETS
Middle of the pack for one more year is what the projections are seeing for Brooklyn. Some good all around pieces on well-budgeted contracts but this team is clearly missing a fantasy stud. Don’t expect anything other than unreasonable trade demands for all his players as the goal seems to be to just try and rip other managers off. Oh and Giannis, you forgot to sell high on Terry Rozier, don’t do the same mistake with Luke Kennard!!
LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS
Another well known manager to the league that returns after a 2 years hiatus inheriting a pretty solid squad that could compete as soon as this year but then Steve X decides to deal his players left and right since day one, only to satisfy his best customer, Ilker (collusion!!). Activity and constant bargaining expected as this guy is determined to dismantle a healthy roster and transform it into the most coveted word in this league, “assets”.
PHOENIX SUNS
Wow! A Harden-Booker duo in place for a manager who makes a statement and says “I’m here to play the game”..Is it enough thought? Hell nah, cause my god, what a pathetic collection of bigs, Olynyk, Biyombo, Young and one-eyed Captain Rui “Cook” Hachimura...Hey, at least Luka “2 years away from being two years away” Samanic is still in Phoenix to make sure that this franchise has a future. Oh and a quick note on Zeke Nnaji, that is a really mature guy that I can see having a bona fide career in the NBA, great pickup (Pelicans is probably wondering what this free ad costed Phoenix lol)
UTAH JAZZ
On to my favorite Jazzman who has been the biggest disappointment of the last couple years in this league with minimal trade activity and lots of “got potential but no real game” pickups. Well, we all learn from our mistakes and Utah seems to have come out of the black hole with some very nice trades and acquisitions. Financial health seems to be the priority with some contracts expiring soon while the Zhaire Smiths and Kevin Porters of the world will always have a place in Utah..
BOSTON CELTICS
Boston got cute for a minute trying to steal All-Star fantasy stud Domantas Sabonis from Portland for no other reason than to prove he is a player in the market but yeah, we all know how that went... Time might be running out for a manager that seems invested in Gordon “always on the injury list, always a DNP” Hayward and Jonathan “I got skills but no knees” Isaac with the looming free agency of Jayson Tatum..don’t forget to sell high on Chris Boucher as the hype is real until he fouls out 6 minutes before the half.
CHICAGO BULLS
No other manager in this league values financial flexibility more than Chicago, might he be the Jew we have been looking for to trade for Deni Avdija?? Not so fast boys.. The roster slowly seems to form an identity but the long anticipated signing of a fantasy superstar once again gets postponed for next year, or the year after that or maybe a couple years after that..The Kardashian curse makes its appearance in Chicago too after San Antonio for a squad that will forever have a place for Kris Dunn!!
SACRAMENTO KINGS
For a minute there we thought that Sacramento was about to jump into the pool and throw his well-kept money in the bank to free agents but we all forgot that this manager has his red lines and won’t spend a dime more than what he thinks is fair market value. All the contracts on this roster are on a budget and hold extra value so yeah good luck negotiating with this guy unless you want to lose your arm, your leg, your lunch box, your dog and your kitten’s tail as well.
PHILADELPHIA SIXERS
The proud winner of the “how the hell did I screw up my squad” trophy for two years in a row, Philadelphia is here to just trade trade trade cause he thinks that whoever makes the most deals in a span of a year then becomes the champion. Please stay away from dealing with Ilker, not because he trade rapes most of you but for the simple reason that he will then understand how fantasy basketball works! Thank you and #FreeJakobPoeltl
Tier 1 - The on paper Contenders (in alphabetical order)
ATLANTA HAWKS
The time is NOW for Atlanta who decides to go ALL in on a year where money works and he can have Dame, OG and John Collins on expiring deals. A loaded roster with plenty of options but fragile bigs Kevin Love, Clint Capela, Danilo Gallinari and potential fantasy super freak Zion Williamson will determine how far this team can go.
DENVER NUGGETS
Denver remains the poster boy of this league as it’s probably the (only) team that combines a fun, competitive squad with a healthy long term plan in place. What can go wrong you might ask, right? Well, COVID for starters, as the stupid virus destroyed his chances last year so prayers that everything goes according to the plan and he is the next champion this spring (cause of course things always go according to the plan and we have a happy end, right 🤡)
INDIANA PACERS
Third year in a row Indiana is after the trophy and this time he really has 0 chance as he knows that he can’t win without his magic pony, Trey Burke. This is another totally loaded roster but with very limited financial flexibility and many long term contracts already in place. Don’t get me wrong, Indiana will be here as a contender next year as well, the question is will he learn from his mistakes and go ALL IN trading for his pony?
MINNESOTA WOLVES
An out of the blue contender who decides to trade for Joel Embiid’s massive contract, signs Steph Curry (by accident) and inks Kyrie and Jimmy Butler to long term contracts that secure the nephews of their grandchildren..There is some statistical anomaly in the roster construction as Minnesota is dominant in four major categories but not on the rest and this is a 9-cat league and math doesn’t seem to work (wait, did Dio really just quote math?? 🤦🏻♂️)
NEW ORLEANS PELICANS
Pelicans seems to be the team that deserves the most to win this league for the simple reason that Billy has trade raped a good 70% percent of the managers (hello Derick Jones Jr. being the latest example). Good all-around acquisitions, some lucky breaks (Mason Plumlee) and even more first round picks in the vault. AD and the potential of “load management” could be the only bearer of bad news but hey, I bet New Orleans has another joker card to throw at us.
Tier 2 - The “We think we are Contenders but sorry, it ain’t happening this year boys ”
GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS
A catastrophic year, a new manager in place, James Wiseman landing to where he belongs (Bay area), a catastrophic injury to Klay-which quickly turned to Jrue Holiday- and a bunch of moves that follow the exact offseason strategy of the real Warriors. Wait, there is more, Kristaps “glass knees” Porzingis is the cornerstone of this squad but hey KD looked good, anyone confused? I know I am..
HOUSTON ROCKETS
New owner in town for Houston as well who inherits a STACKED team with a few Unicorns but I gotta say I’m disappointed, you are telling me that the best use of $35m in cap space is to trade for Kemba “I got no damn knees” and leave the rest $15m on the table? Still, this roster is more than solid and a playoff birth is almost guaranteed but please someone let the brother know that he needs to trade trade trade!
LOS ANGELES LAKERS
“I think I 've managed to turn things around after my first disastrous season and I have a young core waiting to pan out that may keep this team competitive(with a little help from the veterans”
That was a moment of pure #analysis by Lakers but hey, hold on, ARE YOU TRYING TO STEAL MY JOB HERE??
The Russ-Wall-Ja-Lonzo-Coby White lineup of point guards is one of the best I’ve seen around fantasy leagues so I’ll be rooting for this guy and yes there is room for improvement so anything is possible.
MILWAUKEE BUCKS
“I believe I am in the way of being competitive for years to come”
What is going on with you guys deciding to do a press conference assessing your team? Yes you are in the way of something buddy but that’s closer to being a pretender than a real contender. After back-back wins of the “how the hell did I screw up my squad” trophy by Philadelphia, Milwaukee is putting some serious consideration for grabbing that award in the third year of our league. Yes, the core of LeBron, Giannis and Siakam is tremendous but this league is about depth and I’m not really feeling the supporting cast...Wiggins (?), Gary Harris are PJ Washington are ok projects but who the hell told you that rookies help teams win fantasy leagues??
SAN ANTONIO SPURS
Spurs doing his best “NBA Spurs” impersonation, paying Kawhi and keeping him in San Antonio even though the dude wanted out. This is another team that looks good on theory but the paraplegic status of Blake Griffin combined with the potential Drummond shit show in Cleveland and the Kardashian curse (thanks TT) put any hope for success totally up in the air..hey, at least Thomas Bryant is here to clean the glass (oh wait his rebounds are totally going down with Westbrook in Washington, right?) Oh noooooooooo...
Tier 3 - The “too good” to miss the playoffs teams but not so good enough at the same time
MIAMI HEAT
Miami is another team that I empathize with as last year’s COVID shit completely derailed them from competing for the trophy. Things are kinda different this year though with a strong nucleus of Luka and Ben Simmons in place, solid veterans Mike Conley and Jonas Valanciunas back but with many questions regarding the supporting cast. A lot of wheeling and dealing by Miami which will most likely continue in the next few months, so stay tuned for “The return of Luka”
PORTLAND JAILBLAZERS
The reigning champion of this league is getting mocked all over for his trades, RFA bids and acquisitions but the lessons are clearly not learned around here, “never underestimate the heart of the champion”! A roster that has aged and taken a step back this year but Portland is certainly not expected to remain inactive and a blockbuster is always on the works, just watch and learn what Trey Burke can get me after March..
Tier 4 - The Orlando Magics of the league which translates to teams that are good enough to compete on a weekly basis but have no clear short or long term plan
BROOKLYN NETS
Middle of the pack for one more year is what the projections are seeing for Brooklyn. Some good all around pieces on well-budgeted contracts but this team is clearly missing a fantasy stud. Don’t expect anything other than unreasonable trade demands for all his players as the goal seems to be to just try and rip other managers off. Oh and Giannis, you forgot to sell high on Terry Rozier, don’t do the same mistake with Luke Kennard!!
LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS
Another well known manager to the league that returns after a 2 years hiatus inheriting a pretty solid squad that could compete as soon as this year but then Steve X decides to deal his players left and right since day one, only to satisfy his best customer, Ilker (collusion!!). Activity and constant bargaining expected as this guy is determined to dismantle a healthy roster and transform it into the most coveted word in this league, “assets”.
PHOENIX SUNS
Wow! A Harden-Booker duo in place for a manager who makes a statement and says “I’m here to play the game”..Is it enough thought? Hell nah, cause my god, what a pathetic collection of bigs, Olynyk, Biyombo, Young and one-eyed Captain Rui “Cook” Hachimura...Hey, at least Luka “2 years away from being two years away” Samanic is still in Phoenix to make sure that this franchise has a future. Oh and a quick note on Zeke Nnaji, that is a really mature guy that I can see having a bona fide career in the NBA, great pickup (Pelicans is probably wondering what this free ad costed Phoenix lol)
UTAH JAZZ
On to my favorite Jazzman who has been the biggest disappointment of the last couple years in this league with minimal trade activity and lots of “got potential but no real game” pickups. Well, we all learn from our mistakes and Utah seems to have come out of the black hole with some very nice trades and acquisitions. Financial health seems to be the priority with some contracts expiring soon while the Zhaire Smiths and Kevin Porters of the world will always have a place in Utah..
Tier 5 - The “yes we have a plan and it will pan out at some point in the future but it’s taking a little bit more than expected” teams
BOSTON CELTICS
Boston got cute for a minute trying to steal All-Star fantasy stud Domantas Sabonis from Portland for no other reason than to prove he is a player in the market but yeah, we all know how that went... Time might be running out for a manager that seems invested in Gordon “always on the injury list, always a DNP” Hayward and Jonathan “I got skills but no knees” Isaac with the looming free agency of Jayson Tatum..don’t forget to sell high on Chris Boucher as the hype is real until he fouls out 6 minutes before the half.
CHICAGO BULLS
No other manager in this league values financial flexibility more than Chicago, might he be the Jew we have been looking for to trade for Deni Avdija?? Not so fast boys.. The roster slowly seems to form an identity but the long anticipated signing of a fantasy superstar once again gets postponed for next year, or the year after that or maybe a couple years after that..The Kardashian curse makes its appearance in Chicago too after San Antonio for a squad that will forever have a place for Kris Dunn!!
SACRAMENTO KINGS
For a minute there we thought that Sacramento was about to jump into the pool and throw his well-kept money in the bank to free agents but we all forgot that this manager has his red lines and won’t spend a dime more than what he thinks is fair market value. All the contracts on this roster are on a budget and hold extra value so yeah good luck negotiating with this guy unless you want to lose your arm, your leg, your lunch box, your dog and your kitten’s tail as well.
Tier 6 - The little kid we invited to our league just because we feel bad for him not being good at fantasy lol
PHILADELPHIA SIXERS
The proud winner of the “how the hell did I screw up my squad” trophy for two years in a row, Philadelphia is here to just trade trade trade cause he thinks that whoever makes the most deals in a span of a year then becomes the champion. Please stay away from dealing with Ilker, not because he trade rapes most of you but for the simple reason that he will then understand how fantasy basketball works! Thank you and #FreeJakobPoeltl
Seriously?)